Making Moves

Well, about a year ago I swore in as a Peace Corps Volunteer, kind of. We totally messed up the swearing in we couldn't remember all the words to the ritualistic chant that is scarily similar to what the Army uses to indoctrinate it's own volunteers. But that's beside the point. A few weeks before the swearing in my group voted for me and two other volunteers to give a little swearing in speech. In my speech I told my group and the attendees that today, July 4th, 2014, that every journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step (Thanks Rob). And tomorrow I take the first step on another journey, the one to Kwakwani.

Kwakwani is small mining town in the middle of Guyana. To get there, you travel from Georgetown to Linden (1.5 hrs.) then from Linden you get a bus to Kwakwani (3-6 hrs.). In the sense of actual travel, it's much easier to get to then Suddie in Essequibo but travel time fluctuates a lot and I imagine my patience may be tested to it's absolute limits in the next year. I'm taking up a new position as well, Peace Corps Volunteer Leader. Essentially I'll be looking out for the new volunteers in the area. There'll be 4 or 5 new GUY 27s that'll be using my house as a base if they need to come in and get some internet, or just hang out and be around some other Americans. I'm looking forward to it, a little nervous since it's essentially starting service over in an entirely new area, but I didn't come down here to be comfortable. I came down here to test myself, see how much the things that I say matter to me actually do. This is another part of that test.

Scott's Thoughts

Hi everyone,

This is a guest blog written about John and Scott’s recent trip to Guyana.

In April, John and I made our trip down to Guyana to save Tim. At least that’s what we thought we were doing. Let me set the record straight: Tim is doing fine. There aren’t nearly as many snakes as I imagined, the locals call him “White Jesus”, and his host mom poured rum and coke for us at 11am. So, instead of saving Tim, we decided to spend two weeks down there kicking around the “Land of many waters.” Seriously… They say that a lot.

Our trip got off to a rough start after being held forransom by Caribbean Airlines in the Miami Airport. The airline wouldn’t give us our ticket 55 minutes before the flight because we were “late”. This is the first lesson on international travel we learned: Airlines are crooks and will make you miss your flight so you have to pay a new airfare. Be early and this can be avoided. We spent the night in the “Miami INTERNATIONAL Airport!” Sorry, the airport has an overly enthusiastic woman welcome you to the airport every 15 seconds over the intercom. You would think they might turn that off between 1am and 6am, but they don’t. I can’t get her voice out of my head. The next day we paid our ransom and made it to Georgetown, Guyana by 930pm. This is the point where we learned our second lesson on international travel: If you are travelling internationally, know the address you are staying at. They will assume you are a drug smuggler if you’re vague about where you’re staying. Our customs agent actually walked outside the airport to bring Tim back inside to explain where we would stay. Problem solved. Thanks Tim.

The next morning we went to the Stabroek Market. This place was actually one of my favorite parts of the trip. It felt like the entire Guyanese economy ran through that market, which isn’t saying a lot because their economy is in the dumps. We saw one of the tallest wooden churches in the world when we visited St. George’s Cathedral. Just down the street we walked past the Supreme Court and the house where the president lives. John and I thought that was pretty cool, but Tim really downplayed the importance of their president. We went back to the hotel to get a $1,000 ($5USD) plate of meat with some hot sauce and a Coca Cola with 64 grams of sugar (that’s 20 grams more than in the US!). I really enjoyed the hot sauce down there. It made most of the terrible food bearable to eat. That’s the other thing. The food sucks. Tim will probably say that’s not true, but he’s pretty skinny now so he’s not to be trusted.

We travelled around a lot in our 12 days. My favorite places were outside of Georgetown. Tim lives in a nice rural area where everyone is nice to each other. Depending on the time of day, they all greet each otherwith good morning, good day, good afternoon, etc. I really liked how friendly they were to me when I was clearly a stranger in their home.

One of my favorite days was our hike to Mashabo. We walked around this giant, beautiful lake that had trees growing through the water in the middle of the lake. I’d never seen anything like it. When we got to the village on the other side, Tim’s friend was waiting for us with lunch ready. It was one of the best meals we had. Fresh bread, cabbage and these black chunks that I assumed were some sort of bean. The black chunks are “chicken substitute” so I’ve decided to just not think about what that means too much. After lunch we learned to play some cricket. It was a bucket list item for me, but I still have no idea what the point of that game is. We met a family that lives in Mashabo and they cut down some coconuts from their tree for us. Then they gave each of us a “pear”. Don’t be tricked if you’re in Guyana and someone offers you a pear. It’s an avocado. Only accept it if you’re willing to eat a whole avocado without chips.

Santa Mission was another highlight of the trip. We took a 90-minute boat ride through the jungle in the middle of a heavy rain to get to Santa Mission. This site was secluded to say the least. My biggest fears in Santa Mission were panthers and snakes. We heard a story about a one-armed man who recently punched a panther in the face in Santa Mission, so we were preparing for the worst. Fortunately, we didn’t see any panthers. I still wonder how close we came to one though. We did encounter one viper on this part of thetrip though. We were hiking through the jungle to scout the marathon trail Tim will be running in November. I was the fourth person in a straight line, and I was the first person to see the snake coiled up in the middle of the path. That sucker was camouflaged pretty good. Only Tim was behind me to see the little dance I did to avoid it. It wasn’t the biggest viper I’ve ever seen, but it will get bigger as I tell the story more. For right now let’s call it 3 feet long. Kelly, the Peace Corps volunteer in Santa Mission, told us the village believes if you see a snake you have to kill it. If you don’t kill it, it will be invisible the next time you encounter it. We took our chances and left it alone.

 Before the trip, I read a lot about how to stay safe while traveling in Guyana. The basics were to never take minibuses, and only take yellow taxis because other taxis will kidnap you if you’re American. We took a lot of minibuses and most of our taxis were just people driving by that wanted to make a dollar. However, if I only followed the advice I read, we still wouldn’t have avoided our only risky driver of the trip. We took a yellow taxi on our way to the airport for our trip to Kaieteur Falls. The driver undersold all of the other drivers around and said he would take us for $5,000 ($25USD). This was about an hour drive, but this was still a pretty good price so we took it. This guy was the most offensive man I’ve ever met. He told us about his plans to rob the currency exchange downtown (it was a really bad plan), he told us he wants an American girl (which I assume he’ll kidnap), and went off about a few different races he doesn’t like. We’ll leave it at that. At the end of the ride, he demanded another two thousand dollars ($10USD). Tim handled it like a pro and said no because we agreed on a price. The driver immediately turned down a side dirt road and I my heart sank. I though for sure we were being kidnapped, robbed or murdered at that point. Turns out the driver didn’t know how to get to the airport and had to ask for directions. He still threw a fit when we paid him $5,000, but we were alive and didn’t have to see him again so we were relieved.

The trip to Kaieteur was once in a lifetime. A definite must-do if you ever find yourself in Guyana. It’s the tallest single drop waterfall in the world. It’s three times taller than Niagara Falls. We took a single prop plane carrying 12 passengers on the flight to Kaieteur. It was awesome and terrifying at the same time. John sat co-pilot and had controls in front of him. If our pilot had any trouble, John was our backup. Flying over the waterfall was one of the most surreal thing’s I’ve ever done. It was worth every penny.

Tim put together a great trip for us. He gave us the trip of a lifetime with limited resources. John and I made plans for this trip with the intent of sitting around and hanging out with Tim for two weeks. We were content to fish, play cards and sleep in hammocks. We had no expectations of travelling around the country and seeing everything we did. It’s two weeks of my life I’ll always remember. Thanks Tim.   

February to May, in Brief

5/8/2015

Phew, it’s been awhile since I posted but now is as good a time as any. A lot has been going on, almost too much to keep track of but I’ll update you on the big ones and fill in the little ones as you text and email me. Hint, hint.

February

February was a total loss for me. I was in site maybe a few days. All the other days I was in trainings or seminars in Georgetown. I can’t remember all of them but I did a week long one where we adjusted and reviewed trainings for the incoming group. I did a PEPFAR training where we worked on ideas for how to use PEPFAR money at our big girls’ camp, camp GLOW. There was one more training but I jus can’t remember it so it can’t have been that good.

My friend Mollie’s sister came out to visit her. We all hiked out to Machabo which was very cool. We saw a few monkies jumping from one tree to another like we were in a documentary or something. It was very cool.

That’s it for February, bit of a short month so not a lot of time to fit stuff in.

March

March was a bit of a blur as well, time has taken on another meaning here. “The days go slow but the months go fast” as one well-meaning temp DPT said once. March was spent hurriedly getting ready for Camp BRO which was in April. I had to lock down the location, money, supplies, food for 30 people for 3 days. This was one of those real Facebook Peace Corps moments.

April

The first week of April was also spent getting ready for BRO. Luckily, we were ready for BRO just in time. The Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday of the second week of April we had our first camp BRO in Essequibo and second one in Guyana. There were some pretty great moments that came out of that and I’m happy I was able to be a part of it. That being said, it was a bunch of work that I wouldn’t wish on a soul individual again. After that, April was all downhill and I sailed through it pretty quickly.

My good friends John and Scott came to see me, which was pretty cool. They stayed for about 12 days or so. We went to Machabo to see Ally, Santa Mission to see Kelly, Mahaicony to fish and see Kaylee, then we just hung out in Essequibo for a while and chilled. It was very nice to see some familiar faces. This has been the longest I’ve gone without seeing John in the last 10 years so it was a real treat. We had a lot of fun and I really enjoyed it, thanks for coming, fellas.

Also at the end of April we had another volunteer, and my friend, leave. Ryan went back to Florida. He’s a good guy, he will be missed.

May

Well, it’s May 8^th as I write this. The big election is May 11^th, this coming Monday. We’ve been told by Peace Corps that we shouldn’t do anything on Monday and just be real chill for a few days after. Some volunteers are being consolidated and they’re all staying at a hotel together in a supposedly less dangerous area.

Essentially, this is the political landscape as I understand it. The People’s Political Party (PPP) has been in power for the last few decades. They haven’t been doing a great job so far and most people suspect them of stealing money as the majority of people in the government have large houses and their children go to school in the US. Basically everything you could conceive as being a blatant violation of their civic duty, they’ve been accused of including rigging elections. The APNU/AFC is a combination of two of the opposing groups that only recently joined forces last year. Rewind to last year, there were rumblings of them combining their parliamentary votes and calling for a vote of no confidence (like Star Wars and Chancellor Valorum) in the current president, Donald Ramotar. Donnie didn’t like this so he enacted a proroguement that stated Parliament would not be able to meet for the next six months. That six months ended in January, I think, the APNU/AFC called for a vote of no confidence, succeeded and now there’s this election. So that’s the setup for this election. If you recall, I said the PPP has been accused of rigging elections before and that is why there’s a concern for us volunteers.

The elections work similarly to elections in the US. There’s polling places people go to and vote and there’s reps from both parties counting votes and that kind of gives us an idea of who will win. Then they spend the next two days recounting and consolidating votes and an official winner is announced. There’s four scenarios that are possible here. First, the PPP is forecasted to win that first day then is officially announced two days later. Second, the PPP is forecasted again but then APNU wins. Third, the APNU is forecasted and wins. Fourth, the APNU is forecasted but then the PPP wins. I legitimately don’t know what the fallout will be from the results. I’ve been told if the fourth option occurs that’s when we might need to be a little worried but we’ll see what happens.

Well, until next time I guess. Y’all take it easy and I’ll be home real soon. 

The Last Days in Mabaruma

1/31/14


Hi all, pretty busy week so I figured I'd give y'all a rundown of what happened.


Monday started with PDM but I actually came in Saturday to attend the party of our great and fearless leader, Linda, the current Country Director. One thing they don't tell you about Peace Corps staff is that they are on a two year cycle just like we are. No one stays at their post for longer than two years which seems really unhelpful when you think about it.


Anyways, we went to the party, myself, Mark and Lauren who I met up with in Parika. We all hung out together, played some ping pong and had a good time in general. Afterwards we stayed at a hotel in town and the following day we headed out for Grand Coastal for the Project Design Management conference/training.


Normally, you're supposed to bring a counterpart to the conference and the idea is that you work on a project together with your counterpart that you can bring back to the community and implement. I was unsuccessful in finding a counterpart and, as it turns out, so were Mark and Lauren. So the three of us spent some quality time together at the conference, counterpartless.


Looking back at it now, I can't remember a single thing about the conference. The information that was presented was how to design a project using different strength and weakness tools. Now, these tools might work in an American environment where everyone is fairly well educated but out here where easily half of all adults, adults mind you, can't read it makes everything a lot harder. Not to say the techniques that were presented weren't useful, I'm sure they are but they aren't appropriate for their audience in their current form. And this was never, ever addressed by the staff presenting the material. I don't know if it was a given or they legitimately thought these tools would be helpful.


So that went on for three days. Then, I accompanied my good friend Andrew up to his site in Mabaruma. The only way to get there is by plane. It was quite a small plane, a Cessna 208B Caravan, it held about 12 people. So we flew out about 8am and arrived in Mabaruma about 9. It was a great flight, plenty to look at.


Mabaruma is a hilltop community. When we landed I noted that the altimeter said we were at 1000 feet which is probably the highest I've been in Guyana so that was pretty cool. Anyways, Mabaruma is sort of an extended community that flows down the road into a little valley where Kamaka is. Past Kamaka was Andrew's site, Wauna. We got a ride into town then walked down to Kumaka where we found a bus going to Wauna. Andrew picked the bus and as soon as we got in, I knew we'd made a mistake. Upon entry, we were met by a racket of chirps made by chicks sitting in a cardboard box. There were about 50 of them and throughout the whole ride every time they quieted down we'd hit a bump in the road and they'd start all over again. it was terrible.


After 45 minutes of our own personal hell we arrived in Wauna, which was beautiful Everywhere you looked, fruit trees, coconut trees, anything and everything that grows in Guyana grows in Mabaruma. We hiked up to Andrew's house packed up his stuff then we walked around Wauna. Literally, around, the whole village exits on a loop in the road that takes about 15 minutes to walk. It's a small dirt road that you take your car's life in it's own hands if you try to drive on it there's so many ditches and holes. We walked down to Andrew's health center where I saw the sign he had hung and the skeleton he'd painted. We went and met the Project Trust volunteers, the British equivalent of Peace Corps but way worse, and a few people that had been particularly kind to Andrew.


We left in the afternoon, back to Kumaka and stayed at a guest house there and the flew out in the morning. If you hadn't guessed, Andrew is leaving. He's a good guy and a good friend that I'll miss a lot. For those of you that are counting, that's five that have left now. Kristen, Rob, Emily, Kelly H, and now Andrew.


On the flight back, I got to sit in the copilot's seat. When you're a kid and you get to go in the cockpit and it's pretty cool. That still holds true as an adult. And if the flight was great on the way to Mabaruma the way back was even better. The whole time, All you could see was the lush, green jungle stretching out to the horizon. It was truly amazing and one of those moments that you realize that you're just a very small piece of something bigger than yourself. It felt good. And our pilot was actually an American from San Diego, California. Obviously, I told him my brother was a flight instructor in Oregon so if the pilot needed someone to take over the controls I was willing and able. and I might just do it for fun. He didn't laugh at the last part.


That brings us to today. Joe and I saw Andrew off at the airport. He's not leaving quite yet. He had a vacation planned in Barbados with his mom so he's doing that, coming back to finish the required paperwork then he'll be gone for good.


Thanks for listening everyone. If you want to Facetime or something I'll be in town week after next from the 9th to the 13th. My number is 592 674 8145 there's probably a country code or something, you'll have to figure that out on your own. That number is also good for whatsapp if you want to do some texting. I really do love hearing from people at home so don't be shy. They say one of the hardest things for volunteers coming back is realizing that life went on without them so please let me know what you're doing.


Okay, I've taken up enough of your time, take it easy everyone.

New Years

1/13/15

New Years was pretty cool this year. Maybe two weeks before I was talking to another volunteer, Ryan, about previous new years and we came up with the hypothesis that going somewhere special for New Years is preferable to staying in the same area. This year, I can’t imagine a better place than Suriname, easily in my top three New Years. Even though, for the first time in at least 5 years, I celebrated without John Kammerzelt.

I left for Suriname on the 28^th. There’s a new ferry schedule across the Essequibo, it leaves at 6am, 11am, and 4pm. My friend and Andrew was supposed to be getting to the Peace Corps office in Georgetown about 10 so I thought I’d take the 6am ferry and get to town about the same time if everything went well. I got to the office about 9:30 and Andrew informed me that his plane, the only way out of his site, was delayed by weather. Apparently the plane had made it to the airport in Mabaruma, seen the weather, and turned around so now Andrew wouldn’t make it to town until early afternoon. Secretly, I was pleased to hear the news because it meant I could hang out at the office and use the internet.

Other volunteers passed through the office also on their way to Berbice on the east coast where we would meet up and enter Suriname. A group had just finished hiking Kaiteur Falls and they congregated at the office then dispersed. I continued to wait for Andrew, soaking in all the news and content I’d missed since my last trip into the interwebs. I didn’t want to bring my computer to Suriname so I set it to download some things and found a spot for it in the office where I’d pick it up on my way home.

Finally Andrew made it to the office and we amassed a small party, myself, Andrew, Holleigh, Mollie, Ashley and Ashley’s girlfriend from Spain who spoke very little English, Miriam. The bus park was a nightmare. As soon as we got close drivers and conductors pawed and grabbed at us trying to get us to board their bus. It was not my favorite moment. They swarmed and harassed us until we got onto a bus. It was like feeding time at the zoo, and we were the food.

After we got on a bus we waited for a solid 20 minutes for it to fill then headed for the east coast. We arrived at Matt and Kathrina’s house where most of the group had congregated for the White Elephant game. White Elephant is that game where everyone brings a gift and everyone takes turns stealing and opening gifts. Long story short, I brought three tennis balls and two decks of cards in a black plastic bag and left with a bottle of neutrophil, a nerve tonic.

Most people left to continue the party at Jackie’s house. Andrew, Kelly, Jerrell, Ashley, Miriam, Eben, Naomi, and I all stayed behind. Some of us started slinging our hammocks since we planned on sleeping outside. Normally, since the average temperature at night is in the high 70s, this wouldn't be an issue. I’ll return to this in a second.

A few days before this as I was getting ready to leave I decided I needed a net for my hammock. So I went down to the pharmacy and got one. Now, nets specifically for hammocks are a little hard to come by so I bought one for a bed, brought it home, wrapped it cocoon style around my hammock, and pronounced it good enough. I was and continue to be pretty impressed by my ingenuity and it held up perfectly in its real world application, plus, sleeping in a hammock is pretty cool.

The bus came to get us the next night at midnight. The ferry didn’t leave until 10 but it had been filling more quickly and we wanted to guarantee our spot. We got there about 4am and proceeded to wait until 10AM. Then, we remembered this is Guyana and realized we’d be lucky to leave the shore before 12. 12 comes around and we finally get on the boat for a 20 minute ride to Suriname.

As we got closer, people started to bunch near the front of the boat. We were all quizzical and I was standing on the second level so I could see the horde getting more and more anxious. When the boat landed and the ramp dropped it was pure anarchy. Masses of people rushed for the immigration building. I mean just flat out running like the ferry was on fire. Needless to say, we were all confused by this. We proceeded to disembark like normal humans in an orderly manner.

It was only as we approached the terminal we realized our mistake. Before us lay a swath of humans. A line 10 people wide, and 40 people deep had manifested in front of the building. Initially our thoughts were that this was not a big deal. Suriname customs must be way better than the Guyanese we had just come through. We were wrong. 4 hours later we had all made it through the line. But finally, we were in Suriname. Right?

Wrong, were about a 4 hour drive from Paramaribo where we were all staying. At this point, I was getting tired of the uncomfortable seats and unbearable temperature. Luckily, I had a friend who could take care of that. The bottle of Neutrophil was a godsend. Looking at the ingredients, I read that it was basically a bottle of nicotine. Recalling my psychopharmacology class, I remembered that nicotine is a mild stimulant with some muscle relaxant properties. Between me and my seat mate Lauren we had about half the bottle and sat in relative comfort until Paramaribo.

The next day, we walked around town a little bit, scoping out the place for good New Year’s spots. There was lots of music and people partying. And a plethora of cute Dutch girls. The streets were filled with people drinking and dancing. We hung around for most of the afternoon then about 2pm we headed back to the hotel, napped for a little, then headed out about 9 to party a little bit. It was at this time I really started to have fun. Andrew, Mark, Jerrell, and met up with most of the other crew at Subway, one of the many American influences on Suriname. When we got there another volunteer, Ryan, suggested we go put 20 Suriname dollars on black at the nearby Princess casino. So Andrew, Ryan and I went down to the casino. For some reason, we decided to warm up with a little blackjack. A little blackjack turned into a lot of blackjack and a lot of alcohol. But the alcohol fueled my luck, I was up $300 when we decided to call it quits about 11 or so. At that point the rest of the crew had caught up with us and here’s where things got a little hazy because of how lucky I was feeling.

Ryan had acquired some free passes to the local night club, Starz. Apparently we went there, it was close to the casino, and they said they didn’t open until 1am. Whatever, if they wanted to turn away business that’s their problem. After that, I remember being on the rooftop bar of the casino counting down to midnight. And as we reached midnight fireworks went off all over the city. Jets of streaking light soared up and exploded in the sky. It was like watching 20 fireworks shows at once. It was pretty cool. We continued to hang around the rooftop bar, meet some Dutch oil prospectors and have a few more drinks.

That about sums up the night, really. The next day we went on a dolphin site seeing tour. Saw some dolphins and then we left at midnight, again.

1/23/15

On my way back from Suriname I met up with a volunteer from another organization, Project Trust. It’s an English organization and the volunteers name is Natasha, Tash for short. As we’re getting on the ferry, I look down and realize the water is really low. I figure this must be because of the new ferry schedule. Before the New Year, the ferry changed from running every 13 hours, to accommodate the tide, to running at 6am, 11am, and 4 pm. When I heard this, I even said, “that’s not going to work with the tide”. So there we are, on the ferry, she’d never been on the ferry before and she was excited about how little it cost compared to a speedboat, almost $1000. So the ferry departs, we’re sitting outside on the side deck enjoying the jungle cruise when all of a sudden, something bad happens.

The boat starts inclining. The front starts angling up and we could hear a horrific grinding noise. Then the boat shudders, which was scary for a boat that size, and slams back down into the water. The best I could figure, the boat hit bottom, rose up as it pushed through, and came back down the other side. After wiping myself I felt fairly validated in my assessment of the ferry’s capabilities.

Now, one of the ferries is broken and there is absolutely no schedule. They have literally no idea when the boat will show up. The only way to find out is to call down to the office which wouldn’t be a bad system if they actually picked up the phone. The new schedule lasted exactly 3 weeks before one of the ferries broke down. Classic Guyana.

Stuff That Happened

12/10/14

Two weeks ago we celebrated Thanksgiving down in Linden. Linden takes about an hour and half to get to from Georgetown and Georgetown is between 3 and 5 hours from my home in Suddie.

The whole thing went very smoothly, getting there, enjoying friends, and getting back. Here’s my favorite part.

That Saturday, the 29^th, my friend Ryan announced that he had a radio show to do from 7:30-9:30. He said that his friend and co-host said that we’d get into the club for free later that night so it seemed like we should go. Longtime friends of mine, and short time, will recall that I used to do a radio show with a couple of cool cats back in the day. K-hurtz, Snack Daddy, and DJ Bailout, you know who you are, what you did and what’s on film.

Obviously, I jumped at the chance to get back on the airwaves so Ryan had one of his buds drive us out there. When we got there, we were greeted by the producer and, I think, manager of the station 104.3 Power. The station looked like it was set up in someone’s house. The foyer was a huge room with a pile of speakers in one corner blasting the voices of the people in the booth that you could see through the giant window. Ryan’s co-host comes out and it’s this giant Afro-Guyanese man wearing a tank top revealing an intricate network of tribal tattoos covering his arms and chest. He introduces himself as Gavin. I recently read that if someone maintains eye contact with you for more than 6 seconds they either want to kill you or have sex with you. Apparently he wanted to kill all of us. I don’t care to think about the alternative.

 Initially there were about 10 people that came to the station but most of the party got bored and left early leaving only me, Ryan, the “Boo Crew”, and Gavin his DJ name was G. Ryan’s DJ name was West and obviously mine was JT. The “Boo Crew” were three Guyanese women who looked like they had been tricked into coming and definitely didn’t appreciate the moniker.

The way the booth was set up G had a mic stand next to him sitting on the desk between him and me and Ryan. Ryan and I shared a handheld microphone. It was not a great set up but it was a good time. We talked celebrity news and talked about all the stupid stuff DJs talk about. We also played a top 10 list pilfered from some American music site. It was definitely a return to something that I really enjoyed and still enjoy.

This week, our Safety and Security Coordinator is checking out all our homes and workplaces making sure we are all safe and secure. I went out to Machabo with him today because I had literally nothing to do today. Some of you will have already seen the pictures. Written words don’t do it justice but it is definitely an Eden nestled on the coast of Guyana. I’ll try to post a picture or two when I post this.

12/16/14

Hi everyone, just a quick check in I just got back from Linden again. We were doing a GLOW (Girls Leading Our World) camp. There were about 20 or so girls there at different times. It was a good learning experience for me at least since I'll be doing about the same thing with a boys camp at the end of March. I don't want to give anything away just now so I'll post more details later on. Have a few pictures in the mean time.

This is me drinking the last gallon or so of juice from the camp GLOW in Linden. If I had to describe the flavor it would be ground up Pez mixed with water.

This is a skeleton my friend Andrew painted at his health center.

This is an arty photograph of Joe holding the remains of breakfast.

This is my trusty hammock. I spend several hours a day in this bad boy.

From left to right, Erika (top), Mollie (bottom), Andrew, Kaylee, Me, and Ryan. This is from Linden two weeks ago and we're eating vanilla Oreos donated by Matt and Kathrina (not pictured).

This is Machabo lake, we had to cross it to get to Machabo.

This is Machabo. It's Ally's, another volunteer, site. Very beautiful. That little building is her house.

This is the boat that four grown men took across the lake for a half hour. I wish you could see the scale of the boat better but it got scary, quick.

This is from Essequibo Night, a big cultural event from my neck of the woods. That's me on the left, Ally in the middle and Mark on the right.

This is the view from my porch.

This is the group at kaietur falls. Too many people to name without confusing you. Just know that everyone is pretty cool.

While I've got your attention, I'm trying a new thing. Find me on whatsapp and I'll add you to my broadcast list and you can see all my photos, hear all my thoughts, and get all my cool updates. To do that, download Whatsapp on your smartphone and add this number as a contact 5926748145. Also follow me on Twitter @_This_is_Tim_. You just might like it.

Back Again

10/8/14

Hi everybody, I’m back again.

Last Sunday I went to an Eid celebration at the masjid. Apparently masjid is another term for mosque. You learn something new every day, even if you don’t want to. It was pretty cool. Joe was in town and we were hanging out all weekend so we went together with Mollie, Naomi and David. We missed the actual slaughtering but we watched some of the butchering. The men there slaughtered a dozen bulls, chopped them up and handed out the meat. Luckily we were there early, and white, so we got some meat that we took back to Mollie’s and cooked up immediately.

So there we were, eating steak that had literally been slaughtered about 90 minutes before and drinking cold beers. Some days are better than others. Future volunteers don’t take this as the rule, days like this are by and far the exception. But it’s fun to focus on the few high points instead of the multitudes of low ones.

There’s a movie, The Guardian maybe, Kevin Costner and Ashton Kutcher and they’re rescue divers. In it, Costner says something to the effect of, “you’ll spend 90% of your diving career in a mild state of hypothermia” as he mercilessly trains the new divers. I’d say that sentiment echoes one’s experience Peace Corps. Not mildly hypothermic, but very mildly depressed.

We’re all so concentrated on what we’re doing here because it’s now our lives. When I did volunteer work before even when I didn’t like it at least I got to go home at the end of the day. When something irritates me at work or at home there’s almost nothing that I can do about it. While it’s possible, it’s not feasible to move out of a neighborhood I don’t like or find a job that I do. I’m stuck here. I am living this volunteer life whether I like it or not.

It’s unnatural to always be giving of one’s time. To be volunteering 24/7. There has to be some degree of selfishness or narcissism to lend balance to one’s life. Taking time for one’s self, self-care, is important to the human species. Being able to take care of yourself is necessary for life to go on and out here there’s fewer opportunities and options to do that. I also hate whining so I’m done for now, it’s just hard out here some times.

One thing that’s been weighing on my mind is my host family. For at least the last week they’ve been keeping one of their dogs in a small 2’x3’ house on about a 4’chain. It’s barbaric the way they’re treating this dog. And it whines all through the day and night like no one’s fed it. I haven’t actually seen them feed it but I have to imagine they do while I’m not home, right? God I hope so. The worst part is that I don’t feel like I can say anything and if I could, what would I say? “Hey, stop torturing your dog.”? Combined with the fact that my host sister keeps bringing me dinner it’s like they’re being so nice to me and complete assholes towards this dog. Animals are not treated well here. This is the rule, not the exception. I see plenty of abused animals here every day and it’s truly disgusting. They’re real emotional terrorists.

10/13/14

Hey everyone, I went to Kaiteur Falls on Saturday. I’ve seen it spelled a lot of different ways so that’s what we’ll go with. It was pretty cool. Supposedly, it’s the highest single drop waterfall in the world at 741 feet high. I wonder who had to measure that.

But better than that was getting to see some other volunteers that I hadn’t seen in 3 months. We went through all the training and PC bullshit and through that firestorm of bad decisions and useless training sessions we forged a real family. It really was like seeing some brothers and sisters I hadn’t seen in a while, we just picked up where we left off.

What I was really struck by was the boundless optimism I saw from these people. It was more inspiring than any water falling off a cliff. Out on the Essequibo coast we really are isolated from most of the other volunteers who live on the other side of the river. Traveling to town on a good day can take upwards of 3 hours and it’s mentally taxing. I really don’t like traveling into town or even being in town. There’s too many people and I can feel my anxiety rising. My friend Holly said that it’s important to be flexible and be able to adapt to differences. I think I’ll have to try that next time I’m in town.

But back to why I was struck by the optimism. On the coast, the other volunteers that I do see are the jaded 25ers, the group that came before us. I like them a lot, CJ, Mollie, Iris, Ally, Doug, they are all really cool people and they’ve helped me get used to Guyana. One thing that I like is the fact that there are no illusions with them. They don’t pull punches about how shit things can be sometimes and don’t pretend to love every second of every day. They’re realists to the max and I appreciate that. It comes, I think, from being here for the last year and a half. They know that having expectations that are too high will only end disappoint. I like being around realistic people.

That’s why the optimism and idealism that I heard from the other 26ers surprised me, I wasn’t used to it. Initially, I affixed it to their naiveté and the fact they still held some of that je nai se qua (was that right, Nick and Chris?) and innocence that allowed them to believe they were making a difference every day. It actually kind of annoyed me, it felt like they were ignoring all the bad stuff about being here and only focusing on the good and how great things were. It felt like they were lying to themselves. Telling themselves how great this whole experience has been and ignoring the parts that were bad. In my mind, that’s the pinnacle of unhealthy psychological behavior. I don’t think you should focus purely on the positives and deny the negatives because that’s not real life. That’s a fantasy world where nothing bad ever happens and it’s just not real. Bad stuff happens, I’ve seen it, you’ve seen it and when someone denies that they’ve never had a bad day or minimizes their own sadness it’s unhealthy. Acknowledging that, yeah, sometimes I have a really shitty day where I don’t accomplish anything is important, I think.

I’ve never been one to push my beliefs on other people. And while I didn’t agree with the other volunteer’s views of things, the last thing I’d do is condemn them for their views. But then I thought about why they might be doing that and I think it comes down to the differences in ways people approach their lives. Where I like to have balance and acknowledge both the bad and the good some others may want to emphasize the good. It’s not my place to tell them what I think about their strategy but I should support them regardless. And as I thought about it I realized that maybe I was going about my service in the wrong way. Maybe I needed to be more positive about what I was doing.

10/16/14

                I know, I know, I was supposed to post yesterday but I just forgot. I’ll post tomorrow, I promise.

                Some days it seems like Peace Corps lied to us. When you think about PC you think about going to some exotic locale, living in a small hut, and strolling around the village clad only in a loincloth. Well I don’t have a loincloth. This stereotypical view of a volunteer is obviously not everyone’s experience, I’m not an idiot. I guess I was just hoping that someone in this entire country would actually want volunteers here. Everyone I’ve talked to just doesn’t really seem to give a shit that I’m here. If they don’t care, why should I?

                Everyone I talk to, nurses, doctors, people in the community just gives me the smile and nod, disbelief that I’ll be here for two years and a promise to call if I can be helpful. And that’s a best case scenario. Then I never hear from them again. Being here is like being in quicksand. I’m slowly sinking into a pit of my own fear and doubts and every time I try to reach for a branch, a reason to be here, it gets pulled away. The people here wouldn’t be doing anything differently whether or not Peace Corps was here, I think. All the technical expertise and willingness to help is wasted here. I’ve worked hard, I’m not afraid to do something that’s never been done before but without the buy-in from the people that are here, what’s the point?

                Every day is a struggle to do something meaningful and most days, I fail. And I’m getting tired of it.

                It definitely feels like I’m whining right now. “Oh look at me, I get to live in South America totally funded by the US. Woe is me.” I’m not trying to bitch and moan too much but it’s seriously frustrating being hired to help in a country that doesn’t want my help. It’s like getting hired for a new job then showing up and realizing there is no job and you have to build the company from the ground up on your own in a country of people you’ve never met who’s culture and customs you don’t understand. Thank God they speak English, kind of. But if it was easy, everyone would do it. Right?

11/7/2014

                So you may have noticed that this post is very very late. A whole host of excuses could follow and not fully explain what’s been going on. I’ve just been the right kind of busy and bored not to post this.

                Last week, we had reconnect. All the volunteers showed up at the same hotel and we all went through more bullshit PC training. The training was completely useless and unhelpful. I wish they’d stop. Getting to see everyone was really the best part and most people seem to be doing well. I want to be like them. Reading through what I’ve written before I realize it sounds very negative. Having this blog is like a reverse facebook. Instead of seeing all the great parts of my life you are exposed to only my worst thoughts. In the future, I’ll try to temper them with more positive things that have been going on. For example, today I’m going to my friend Ashley’s school and working with some of the boys. Working on what? I don’t know. But I’ll do some activity they enjoy, debase myself a little and maybe things will turn out okay. See y’all later. I miss all of you lots, I’m 6 months in now and I’ve got 21 months left. Here we go.

11/10/14

I had a bit of distressing news from my conference a few weeks ago.

                Peace Corps has stated on several occasions that they begin developing sites far in advance of our arrival. They do the groundwork and, are supposed to, make sure that the community has things for a volunteer to work on and willing members to help.

                At this conference I got confirmation of a suspicion I’ve held for a while. It turns out that Peace Corps did have a site that they thought would be perfect for me. From what I can gather it was in Georgetown and would have been working with administration in the Ministry of Health to help implement their new psychological health plan for the country. Sounds pretty cool. Apparently, two days before they announced our sites an unknown staff member stated that my site would not be safe since it was in town and that it would no longer be a viable site. 2 days before sites were announced when this staff member had months to say something. A new site was then located for me over the course of two days. All these months and months of preparation were down the toilet in a minute and my site was basically whatever someone could scrape from the bottom of the barrel in 48 hours.

                It’s unfortunate but what am I gonna do? Cry? Whine? What’s that going to do? Instead I’m taking it as a learning experience. It sucks but no one can fix my problems except me so that’s what I’m going to do. And as for Peace Corps, I appreciate the staff’s honesty but I don’t feel comfortable asking them for anything after this. That’s not to say they can’t be inadvertently helpful but I think Peace Corps has done me enough favors at this point. Now I’m on my own, in my opinion. Peace Corps has no bearing on what I do anymore. I’m going to do exactly what I want to do. They had their shot and it didn’t work out so I’ll take things from here.